May 13th …today was a mixed day for me .. though I started off well I have no clue what happened that it turned weird for me today .. Thought everything was going good, had a presentation and was all set to get it done with , but then one of the group members just backed out at the last minute and I have no clue why .. he seemed in a weird mood and it just went off ..Strangely I have no clue why I was as polite and accommodating as I was , cause it has always spelt a downfall to me, he asked me if he could speak with the moderator and try to postpone the date as he was just absolutely not upto it, and I agreed to his whims..I am still wondering why though,I could’ve easily put my foot down and said no we have to get it done today , but instead this sudden understanding came over me and I obliged .. only to find out later that he happily had informed the moderator that the entire group wasn’t prepared and hence could’nt be assessed .. I was furious .. again taken for a ride!!! .. I stood by him being a good team player , but for what? I have no clue cause I realize all our marks will be deducted. So much for being nice!!!! .. And this is not the first time I have obliged and been walked all over .. They say u learn from your mistakes but look at me .. I always try to see the other’s point of view and be compassionate cause that is what is taught to us ever since I can remember.
Where are all those values gone?, where we were told be nice to people cause what you sow, so shall you reap a form of karma. I still remember all those fairy tales showing the giving , understanding one always wins and the wrong doer or rather the greedier ones get what they deserve . I know I ain’t anyone to judge, but I wonder what probably is good karma on my end might just be absolutely foolishness. Do those lessons taught in fables and stories ever hold true or are they just dreams of a person who hoped things would be like that? .. I genuinely wonder, because in this real world you gotta be harsh , aggressive brutal if u really want something in life cause they say nothing comes easily. But I always thought it meant loads of hard work but seems like you gotta be selfish if you want to survive.My lesson for the day!!!!
Someone I really adore once said that in life we always are offered two paths , one the good and the other the bad. Depends on each one of us which path we want to choose, if we choose the quick easier way, things will be great at the start .. everything will be like a bed of roses, but when we reach our destination we won’t really appreciate it. We will feel a sense of yea! so big deal I reached. Now if we choose the tougher path , initially it will be absolutely hard to get by, disappointment will be at every turn to receive us, but at the end when we reach our destination we’ll be glad and cherish it to the fullest . Sometimes this too to me has different ways of looking at it and there we go again, my constant dilemma ‘perception’.
As hard as I try to avoid it .. it just keeps following me ..So here we are again at the point of where I started .. what to believe and what not to.
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